Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
