Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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