you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize