so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
