how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I have already put on my inside pants.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
