A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So many bounce houses so little time
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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