I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
