ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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