Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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