i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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