is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
