So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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