This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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