Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
