ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
