please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
