She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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