Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
