OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
