Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
