just come out here and I will go home with you...
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
