yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
