hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
