Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
