Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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