Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
