dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
