I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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