if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
