I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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