what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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