K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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