Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
