I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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