I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
