Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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