I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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