O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
