so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
