One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
