i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
