So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
