I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
