PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
