omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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