ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
