guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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