i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
