wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
