Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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