I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
His nipple licking is glorious
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