He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
