So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
