with your own penis?
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
