sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Randomize