I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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