Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
