My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize