Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
sarcasm needs its own font
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
