If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
