I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i think i have herpe
just one?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
