Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize